Protecting and Connecting with Kids
5/31/23
Over the last few weeks, our kids were counting down the days to summer break, and looking forward to time off, trips, summer camps, and time with family and friends. During the summer, many kids also have more screen time, later nights, and lack of structure which can be difficult for their emotional and spiritual health. Here are five tips to help connect with your kids and protect them over the summer.
1. Build strong emotional connection and have fun with your kids. Dr. Dan Siegel has helpful parenting books and podcasts, and discusses the 3S’s of secure attachment - being seen, safe, and soothed, in this parenting podcast. Dan Siegel also discusses ways to help parents repair when they fall short or yell/scare their kids. Summer can be such a fun time to get outside with kids, play board games, and have fun trips and memories with them.
2. Protect kids online with a home wireless router like Gryphon, and software on their devices such as Covenant Eyes. We use both of these in our house, and Benedictine College provides free accounts to Covenant Eyes to all of their students. ProtectYoungEyes.com provided this helpful page of guidelines on what should be blocked with a wireless router.
3. Consider Gabb phones or watches for kids through 8th grade. My wife became a HS teacher 2 years ago, and taught 7-8th grade for 5 years before then. She often noticed a difference in students who received smartphones towards the end of 8th grade seeming more emotionally balanced, rested and joyful, compared to students who already had smartphones in 7th grade. We bought a Gabb phone when our oldest child was old enough to babysit, and there is no internet access or social media. We recently set up an agreement with Gabb wireless where you can get $25 off your device with this link - www.gabb.com/promo/STILLWATERS. They have affordable monthly rates around $20-$30. Gabb wireless has been helpful for our family, and over 50,000 families.
4. Build regular family prayer time, and spiritual connection with kids. I’ve talked with families that are intentional about praying with their kids daily, even if it is having prayer intentions and a few additional prayers before bedtime. In addition to family movies, we’ve been watching faith-based shows like the Chosen series with our kids. Building regular spiritual connection and weekly church attendance with kids can help give them a sense of safety, comfort, and hope.
5. Build emotional and spiritual connection in your marriage, and model joy to your kids. Over the years of working with many college students and young adults, I have heard the profound impact (positive or negative) that a parent’s marriage has on the emotional and spiritual well-being of their kids. Resources such as the 5 Love Languages, secular resources from John & Julie Gottman, along with marriage counseling and can help to build more emotional connection in marriages. I’ve been glad to hear that more local churches are offering events for couples. In addition, I have heard couples strengthening their spiritual connection through regular prayer, couples small groups, and marriage enrichment retreats.
I hope it is a joyful and emotionally connective summer for you, your kids, and your marriage! Lately we’ve been having fun conversations with our kids with this goofy comedy podcast that is pretty clean and family friendly. It’s been fun to listen to the jokes and stories with them when we’re on road trips or cranking out chores at home.
Sam Meier, MA, LCPC